his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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