I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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