You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
