im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
