Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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