walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
