I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
