I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
