i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
