I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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