i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
