well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
