i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
