The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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