how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
