I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
