I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize