just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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