Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
