he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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