ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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