Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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