i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
