the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
