I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
