I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
