i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize