You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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