After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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