i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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