So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
