Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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