Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize