just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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