you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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