Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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