dude i'm inner monologue high
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
