But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
