where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
