thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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