The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
