your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
