guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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