idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
