she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
