I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
These tits shall not be calmed
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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