I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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