I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
