Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
