I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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