sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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