My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
