Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
