Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
