he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
