She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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