ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
