I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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