Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were trust falling into bushes
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize