your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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