Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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