we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
