I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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