Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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