Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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