Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize