Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
