No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize