A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
