You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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