Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this boner is exhausting
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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