dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
