I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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