Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
