That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
