my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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