It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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