good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
